I noticed that my friend Wojciech had written a post that could do with a few tweaks.
He'd asked me to look at his next post and make suggestions as to how to improve it and attract more visitors.
Rather than telling Woj about his post I thought I would address the post in a blog post. Let's start with the original post.
MyLeadCompany is great
MyLeadCompany is simply amazing! Lead Capture System is simple and user friendly and yet very powerful program! I Proved it many times! using this system and was able to be listed in top recruiters list! MLC Thank you! Thank you J.R.
Please join me, together we will succeed. http://wojtas22.myleadcompany.com
My first reaction was to break the post into seperate parts and follow AIDA
ATTENTION
INTEREST
DESIRE
ACTION
Attention
That's the role of the subject line. The post has at least 5 points in it so I thought that I would have a bit of fun with linkbait. I'm also thinking about the next part of AIDA (Interest). I used to use LinkbaitGenerator.com for some fun suggestions for titles and In their style I came up with.
5 ways MyLeadCompany can stop you failing financially and become successful.
Consider the 2 - which do you think will get more hits?
MyLeadCompany is great
or
5 ways MyLeadCompany can stop you failing financially and increase success rates.
Now to address the content.
Interest, Desire and Action (last parts of AIDA) are needed. Action is the link so it was important to make it a clickable link. In other words if it is plain text then the visitor will have to copy and paste into browser. If they are on a smart phone then most will not follow. Easy to rectify in blogger, just select the URL (web address and then click Link on the menu bar.
Interest
I like to write in a talkative way - just like if I was in the room with you having a chat. That's the way to write copy for blogs: like you are having a chat with someone. So in blog posts I like to have a story (just like at the beginning).
Here's how the post could have been re written:
5 ways MyLeadCompany can stop you failing financially and become successful.
I'd been looking for a way to make money online and had been checking out various systems. I became friends with Mark N Hopgood online who has been an entrepreneur for 20 years and we explored a couple of options. I joined Mark with My Lead company which was free to join and explore before I decided to put my efforts into it.
As I don't have a degree in physics and computing (like most people) I was impressed that the web interface was easy to use. I liked the little pictures that helped you to find your way. However, what really impressed me was when I got an email from the founder saying that my business position had grown in size (over 4,565 people had joined under me and could potentially earn me money). The work I had put in to learning how to blog and attract people to my blog system (provided by Mark N Hopgood) had paid off.
I decided to buy a lead package on a regular basis which served 2 purposes. I could see that more people were joining my team and I could see income coming into my e-wallet. In addition I had hundreds of leads to contact and share this wonderful opportunity.
Since then I have become a top recruiter in MLC and can't wait to become financially free.
If you liked finding out about my experience and you are interested in working with us and succeeding in an online business, contact me by completing your details now at.
http://wojtas22.myleadcompany.com
original post
MyLeadCompany is simply amazing! Lead Capture System is simple and user friendly and yet very powerful program! I Proved it many times! using this system and was able to be listed in top recruiters list! MLC Thank you! Thank you J.R.
Please join me, together we will succeed. http://wojtas22.myleadcompany.com
Conclusion
AIDA with a story plus some third party mentions with less superlatives make for a blog post that is more readable and geniune.
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